Ever woken up worrying that you said the wrong thing the night before? Felt annoyed with yourself for polishing off the entire bottle of wine when you only intended to have one glass with dinner?
No? Me neither, but obviously someone thinks I might because earlier this week the postman delivered a pristine copy of Rosamund Dean’s 2017 fantasy book, “Mindful Drinking: How Cutting Down Will Change Your Life”.
The fact that it was sent anonymously is slightly bothering me. I mean, I haven’t been out for weeks and have hardly spoken to anyone, except the three old soaks in my life, McFatty, McFattier and Desperate Dan, the Southern Softie who’s hard in all the right places.
The only thing I can think of is that it was someone who has been reading my musings and is now concerned that I am spending my life annihilated, blootered, drenched, ferschtinkenered, guzzled, hammered, mashed, monstered, obliterated, raddled, roistered, scuttered, slammed, smashed, soaked, twatted, wankered and wazzed.
Anyway, apparently in the name of healthier living, the author was hypnotised into drinking less alcohol and, to be honest, you’re going to have to put me under a spell to even read the cover sleeve notes again, especially with Super Saturday less than 12 hours away.
Talking of healthier living, it appears that Campaign‘s much-trumped Sprintathon has gone from bad to worse. You may recall that last week, I gave you the world exclusive that some pesky dance instructor from Jordan had beaten them to the world record for the “Largest online video chain passing a water bottle”, meaning they had had to extend the deadline to rustle up a few more participants.
But, it seems, that is not the only problem. According to the fundraising page, Sprintathon donations are coming in at a rather embarrassing snail’s pace.
In fact, since the plan was first announced on January 7, amid claims that it would be “bigger and better” than last year, it has raised a rather measly £1,175, of which nearly half is from magazine trade body Magnetic and £150 from Pip Hubert at Wunderman. Hope you guys get some decent coverage for that…
It’s all a far cry from last year, when the Sprintathon raised an impressive £100,000 for charrrrrridy, with all manner of top brands taking part.
Now, I am not saying I told you so, but do you think that maybe, just maybe, the deification of Nigel Farage has come back to bite the self-proclaimed advertising bible on its bony arse? If so, I for one will drink to that!
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